The old ball and chain

When I got married in September of 2003, my cousin, whose heart is bigger than his brain*, was in charge of decorating our car. What he wrote on my hood is not appropriate to post here, but he also drew a giant ball and chain on the trunk. Look closely and you will can see it in the picture at the right. It took a chemical cleaner to remove the window paint from the finish. And that is nothing compared to how the actual "ball and chain" is holding me back with my weight loss.

Let me be clear: I love my husband. He is a great father to our children. He watches them three nights a week so I can work part-time to pay my student loan debts, most of which I used to get useless degrees, and never bats an eye. However, when it comes to healthy eating, he is my biggest challenge. During that first couple of years of our marriage, we had busy, mismatched schedules, and we ate a ton of fast foods and convenience foods. He is a man who enjoys food, at least that within his limited range of likes. He worked fewer hours, so sometimes he would make me meals, which often included things like giant portions of deep-fried tater tots. At first I was shocked, but soon it became second nature. By our second anniversary, I had gained 30 or 40 pounds.

Fortunately, I peaked around that time after we started having kids. I lost about 10 pounds with each pregnancy (and gained it back after the first), but I can't be this lucky forever, and there is still a long way to go. That's what motivated me to join the Biggest Loser contest at work. Hubby is enjoying the weight loss, but he seems to have no desire to join me in healthful eating. Every weekend since the contest began, he has talked me into ordering pizza or picking up fast food. He has also brought home "treats," like donuts, potato chips, pop, and a sugar cream pie. Sure, I can eat small portions of these and stay within my calorie goals, but if I chose something less dense in calories, I could eat more and feel full. So I start with my moderate portion, and it tastes sooooo good that I can't resist going back for seconds. I asked him this week if he ever thinks about how what he's eating is affecting his health. He said he does, but that it tastes so good that he doesn't care. I have been managing to control it enough to average more than my goal, but I worry about him. I want a long life together, and I am scared that his habits will cut that short. I am also worried about the example being set for our children.

As in all dealings with men, I know that nagging will not work (although it never prevents me from trying). Instead, I opted for retail therapy: I bought him a couple of lunch boxes. I'm going to try to start packing his lunches, loosely following the bento approach. This concept originated in Japan, and it's all about controlling portions and eating a wide variety of tasty food. This might be a challenge, but maybe he will learn to like it.

*Oh, yes I did make a reference to Christmas Vacation!

My naughty librarian dress

Most of us have that one piece of clothing that we have been saving in the back of our closets, just in case we fit into it one day. For me, it's my naughty librarian dress. I came across this dress in the fall of 2006. I had just started on my master's and was driving to Indy every Friday for classes. Many times, I would drop by the Goodwill in Noblesville on my way back. (This is quite possibly the biggest, cleanest, best organized Goodwill ever!) During one of those visits, I happened to come across this dress on the rack. Though it had no tags--which indicated that it was probably handmade--it looked close to my size, so I decided to try it on. The dress didn't slip on easily, but once I wiggled into it, I was pleasantly surprised to see how the navy blue plaid hugged my curves. It was nicely tailored and had cute buttons and a little tie at the neck. The only problem was, it hugged my tummy pooch a little too much--just a little, but enough to discourage me from buying it. Disappointed, I placed it back on the rack.

The dress did not leave with me on that trip, but when I returned a few weeks later, it was still there. This time, the pull was too strong. I had to buy it. I justified the buy because I had given birth to my first child, Levi, about 4 months prior, and I still had baby weight to lose. Surely I could fit into the dress in a few months.

Three and a half years later, it still hangs in the back of my closet. My goal is to change that. This week, the dress is only slightly tight in the tummy. I could almost wear it in public without being embarrassed. Still, if I can lose just a few more pounds, I will be able to wear it proudly on my Valentine's date with the hubster. How's that for motivation? We'll see if I can do it.

Biggest loser, week 2

Yeah, yeah. So it's not even been 2 weeks in this weight loss challenge, and I have already fallen off the wagon. Well, it may be more accurate to say I was pulled off. I use The Daily Plate to calculate my calories needed, but I don't figure in breastfeeding, so if I go over a bit on calories, I don't beat myself up over it. Naomi could be taking as many as 700, especially since milk his her only food source and she weighs about 16 pounds. For fun, I put in her height and weight and it estimates that she needs 661 calories to maintain. That's a lot--and she's growing!

Anyway, I made errors in food choice so atrocious that even breastfeeding can't save me. One problem is, I haven't felt much support at home. Saturday, Nate brought home chips and pop as a treat for me. Gee, thanks! That wasn't the end of it. He also decided to treat us to dinner at Culver's. I know I could have made better choices while there, but having the temptation in front of me made that difficult. The icing on the cake was my parents cashing in their Christmas present: a gift certificate for any meal they chose prepared by me. They chose breaded cube steaks (fried in oil, of course), mashed potatoes, and pecan pie for dessert. The lightest item on the menu was Green Green Spring Vegetables, a medley of asparagus, green beans, sugar snap peas, and broccolini sauteed in olive oil and butter.

As of today's weigh in, I hadn't lost a single pound. But considering this weekend, I'm pleasantly surprised!

New look and updates!

I spent my blogging time over the past several days updating my template. I am still working on the header image (it's finished, but isn't displaying correctly). After some puzzlement, I ended up reworking my header image so it displays correctly. So now it's time for some actual content. I finally chose my title, which is an affectionate reference to the color of my house (to be exact, it's Smurf blue). Moving here has been the key to many positive changes in our family, so I thought the old place deserved some recognition.

The weight loss is going much better than I reported on Saturday--if you've seen the weight loss ticker in my sidebar, you know how much better. By some miracle, I managed to lose 5.8 pounds last week! It's not that I didn't try to stay on top of the calories, but I certainly never met the goal for losing 2 pounds a week. The only explanation I have is breastfeeding. I came in tied for third with several other people.

The chicken dish I made Saturday evening was delicious! I would suggest it to anyone, dieting or not. It combines some of my favorite tastes--garlic, feta cheese, olives--to make up a rich Mediterranean flavor. The only problem was that Naomi sat on my lap during the meal, which left the top of her head smelling like gyros. I craved them for the rest of the evening! My friends on Atkins could probably have this also, without the flour coating. If you try it, note that I substituted basil for mint--I'm sure either way it would be tasty!

I think that about brings things up to speed. I am headed to bed. Good night, all!

Delayed gratification FAIL!

So I cheated and hopped on the work scale this morning. Not a good idea. I knew I should have waited until Monday's weigh in. In contrary to my home scale, this one shows no change whatsoever. It's so discouraging, but also little nudge for me to push through and try harder the next three days. It's true, I have been over on calories and have depended on Naomi to get me through it. I know I am not going to win this contest, but that's OK. If I lose anything--even 10 pounds--I still win.

Yoga, Meijer, and my "before" pics

Ugh. If anything, this regular blogging makes me accountable, so since I said I would post pictures, now I have to. I had Nate take them tonight and was dismayed to find that I still look pregnant! How embarrassing! I have lost all of my baby weight and more, but you wouldn't know it due to the permanent fanny pack. It highlights all the more the need to exercise and tone, especially in that area. So here are my pictures. Don't say I didn't warn you!



Today for exercise I tried the yoga workout in the series I listed yesterday. I enjoyed it much more than cardio. The deep breathing reminded somewhat of the technique I used to get through labor. Rather than looking at the countdown clock and thinking "I've only been at this for 3 minutes?!" I looked at it and though, "Wow! It's been 7 minutes already!" I admit, I wasn't able to do all of the poses--and balancing with toddlers pulling on me was next to impossible--but overall, I found it relaxing. Within a few hours, I could feel it. My muscles ache a little, which I take as a good sign.

I burned even more calories by trekking out into the snow to get groceries. I hadn't done a good shopping trip since before Christmas. I left my list at home but was unwilling to turn around, so I did my best at remembering. Somehow, I remembered 32 of the 34 items on my list. Several of those were ingredients for a dish I'm making for my parents tomorrow: Sauteed Chicken Breasts with Cherry Tomatoes, Olives, Feta, and Mint. It reportedly only has 310 calories per serving, so I will still be able to enjoy my weekend with what I hope is tasty food. I'll review it later.

I have to work in the morning, so for now I'll say "Good night!"

I'm officially a loser!

No, I don't mean that I'm "someone or something that is marked by consistently or thoroughly bad quality, performance, etc." I mean that I lost 2 pounds and have already met my weekly goal! That is a conservative estimate according to my home scale. We'll see how it turns out on the "official" scale at work next Monday. That means I have to make it through the weekend, which might be tough. I'm glad I am playing the part of the tortoise in this race.

To help jump start my weight loss--and to build muscle--I know that I have to start working out. I'm not sure that we can afford a Y membership, and even if we could I'm not sure I have time to go. What I did find was a series of free workouts on hulu.com. I started out today w/ the "Less is More Cardio," and I am not sure what they mean by "less." I probably could have made it most of the way except Naomi got upset about 20 minutes in and I had to stop. I'll try to make the other 10 minutes this afternoon.

Another little something I am going to add is weekly progress pictures, which I will be posting here. I don't quite have a "before," but 2 pounds hardly makes a difference, so I'll try to get that up sometime by the end of this weekend.

Well, time for diaper duty!

Tag-team parenting

After my youngest, Naomi, was born, I significantly cut back my work hours (I now average around 14 hours per week) so I can stay home with my kids. Nate works days and I work evenings so one parent is with them at all times. There are some advantages to this. We come out even financially. More importantly, the kids do not have to go to daycare at all. There are some good daycares and babysitters out there (we found about 1 in 4), but there's only so much that can be done with dozens of toddlers running around. The kids definitely win in this situation.

As great as this situation is, sometimes I have a flash of regret for deciding to stay home. I really love these kids, but when I am with them all the time, any behavioral issues really jump out--and now, I can't blame them on another caregiver. Most of my frustrations stem from normal toddler behavior. They are into everything because they are curious, and I wouldn't want them any other way. I redirect them and tell myself this is a phase. Still, about the time water comes dripping through my dining room ceiling, I have to sit down and have a good cry. It is then that my little guys climb into my lap. Levi wipes my tears and asks, "Mommy, what's wrong?" Isaac plants a huge sloppy kiss on my cheek. That nips the regret in the bud, because I am reminded that they have some of the qualities I most want them to have. They are loving, empathetic, and (although it is a constant source of frustration) inquisitive. I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

I'm ba-ack!

After a not-so brief hiatus, I was inspired by Tylanna to start blogging again. No, I still don't have a blog title, and no, I haven't finished the giant floor ball either. There's not much new going on. They did start a new contest at my workplace--The Biggest Loser. I thought for sure I could win that one. Then I realized it was a weight loss competition. :) Oh well, I'll give it a shot anyway. Maybe that will create something to blog about.

On the home front, Nate and I are also trying to de-clutter. We moved into this house last April and still haven't found a place for everything. The goal is to make the entire first floor at least somewhat toddler proof (can anything be totally toddler-proof?) so the boys can roam freely and we don't have to step over baby gates. The gates are no longer effective against Levi anyway. Come to think of it, he's really not a toddler either ...

I could keep this stream of consciousness going all night, but I'll spare you. Happy reading and Happy New Year!